ENGLISH SPEAKING

This lousy ball of lard has volunteered, once again, to serve me as a toilet here in Milan. Last time too he had offered himself for that task but had proved totally incapable and had not been able to swallow even a piece of my shit. Let's hope it gets better today, but I doubt it. I'm afraid if I shit directly in his mouth, he'll throw up, which I hate. To make things easier for him, I shit on the floor, then I step on it with a boot and order him to lick it. He starts licking, but I notice that he only licks the clean part of the sole, carefully avoiding the shit. I then order him to lick it off the floor but, once again, he doesn't dip his tongue in the shit. The only solution is to push his face into the shit with my foot and, since I used the dirty boot, leaving a shit imprint on his head !!!